Resolve

So I totally caved.  On Christmas Day I was down at my in-laws' house, awaiting lunch.  I looked down at a bowl of chocolate candy, picked up a mini Mr. Goodbar, and ate it, with little pause.  A split second after it hit my tongue, I thought, "Oh well, guess that's it for my month-long ban on candy!"  Just like that.  I've started going off the deep end again with the sugar, so I'm gonna have to be careful.  I'm not going to buy junk and keep it in the house anymore.  If it's not there, I won't eat it.

On a more positive note, I've been doing well with my one New Year's Resolution so far: to eat at a minimum one fruit and two vegetables or two fruits and one vegetable per day.  Before the baby I was pretty good about eating healthy foods, but since I've been time and sleep-deprived, I've eaten more carbs and less fresh food.  So far, so good.  I figure a relatively easy resolution like that is one I can manage to keep.

I'm really trying hard these days to give myself some slack.  No one expects perfection of me, so why do I expect it of myself?  I fall prey to comparing myself and my mothering/wifely skills to others.  It's silly when I stop to think about it.  If my floor is dirty, if the laundry's unwashed, if the Christmas lights are still up outside, BIG DEAL.  I'd rather spend time playing on the floor with my son, and sleeping, and reading books, and having a real conversation with my husband.  Those are the things that matter to my heart.  I've got to lighten up on the whole "to-do list" rattling around in my brain all the time.  I work a full-time job, I have a six-month old, I have a LIFE.  And it's going to be messy.  I've just got to accept it.