Monday, January 23, 2012


I haven't felt like writing lately.  I was in quite a royal funk for a week or so.  Sometimes its really, really hard to be a parent.  Yes, I know how fortunate I am - a healthy child, a job, a husband whom I adore and who adores me and is a fantastic dad.  Knowing this makes me feel even worse about myself.  So I sulk, I eat, I cry, I watch television.  I feel fat and frumpy and out of the loop.  And then I get over it.  This week, I'm better.

Two lunches out with friends make a first-time mom feel good.  I reconnected to my friends and to myself.  My husband and my mom gave me the gift of time to myself, which really is the most precious gift anyone can give a new mom.

And I realized something - I want to be the best Mom I can be for Baby J, which means I need to do whatever it takes to make myself happy.  When I feel good about myself I can focus my energy on my son with gusto and joy, which is exactly what that amazing little boy deserves.  Being happy with myself means I deserve time with friends now and then.  It means I should wear clothes that fit and make me feel good.  It means I need time to move.  It means I stop freaking out about dirty floors and dirty dishes all the time.  This motherhood is mine - what's with all the comparing?  Snap out of it! 

J. deserves better.  I can be better. 

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