Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Day One

For a few weeks now I've had trouble concentrating. I can't seem to find anything I really want to read, which is highly unusual for a voracious reader like myself. I pick up a book, get about 30 pages into it, and get bored. I can't stomach reading memoirs right now especially. I turned the latest book back into the library and pondered what my weird mood means. I came up with this: I'm bored by other people's stories. I'm sick of reading about other people accomplishing things, or trying to accomplish things. I want to be the one creating and doing and accomplishing. I can't stand being a spectator anymore. It's taken me a long time to get up the courage to do this, to try and type something into a little box and send it out there into the world. Doesn't seem like much. But really, it means that I finally may have realized that I have something worth saying, something that someone else out there might want to read. If nothing else, I'll feel better about myself for having given it a shot.

So what is this? Who knows what it will be. I have so many things I want to do with my life: write, create, connect to God, run, dance, travel, savor the blessings in my life, be of use to others, have fun, play, have a baby, celebrate my wonderful husband, save money, bake pies, make time for friends... the list is endless. I hope that by putting down all the stuff in my brain that runs in an endless loop (I should be doing THIS, why aren't I doing THAT, what's WRONG with me?, etc etc.) I can finally put to rest my fears and act boldly. Live my life! Not too much to ask, is it?

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